Kiss
Puke
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
