I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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