I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
