I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
