do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
