Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
