yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
