hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
