i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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