Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
