i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
