i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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