I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
