Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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