You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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