party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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