Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
