I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
