i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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