I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
