Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
