Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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