I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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