its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
