for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
