You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
