it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
