kristin has been a bad kristin
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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