can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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