This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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