my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
