He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
