Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
