Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
