You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
