In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
