She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
