new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
