no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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