guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
