The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
