id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
