i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
