i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
