You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
