so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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