She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
