i may or may not be watching the land before time
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
