drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
