girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
