Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Its about making memories worth repressing
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
